He rises darkly whilst, quietly,

She sleeps on, dreaming.

Outside, the sun has not

Yet decided to rise.


Unhindered by kindness paralysed

By sleep,  unlit by interrogating rays,

His hatred, smiling,  combs its hair,

Preparing before risings that will come too late.


10 Responses to “Unsaved”

  1. Great personification of hatred here!

  2. The way you describe things in the negative ( i.e. “the sun not/ Yet decided to rise… “Unhindered by kindness” (love that phrase) and “unlit by interrogating rays”) really adds to the dark feel of this piece.

  3. Dark and mysterious.. risings will come too late for what?!!!

  4. Glenn Buttkus Says:

    Perhaps a one night stand, whereas guilt imagines eradicating the memory, or something darker still, imps & impulses as precursor to homicide?

  5. scotthastiepoet Says:

    You set a strong mood here in such a few lines – this is accomplished and I’ll certainly be back to see what else you come up with… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

  6. hypercryptical Says:

    Oh very intriguing – I fear she will not rise…
    Anna :o]

  7. Very imaginative and so intriguing. I love this piece. 🙂

  8. There is a parting here .. this is what a morning can be.. leaving someone still sleeping is quite dark.. I really love what you did here.

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