And My Head Says…

I have ridden turbulent volcanic waves,

I have dampened earthshaking quakes,

I have quieted hurricanes’ insane roar,

Blunted the bite of the terrible beast,

Quenched Hell’s deafening inferno.

But these feats are not finite,

The fight must must go on daily,

Lest fires engulf my fevered soul,

Turning to ash my fragile core.

Each sunrise is blessed relief,

But blinds Terror only temporarily,

Until he finds his eyes and,

Worse, his voice again.

Clawing words slash wildly inside,

My mind.  Making me doubt my defences,

Until the time comes around to be,

Submerged in sleep.

From which, too soon, I must awake,

And man the barricades because,

To let go,

To let the monsters roar,

To allow the flames and earthquakes,

To do what they will,

To take cover and watch,

The inferno burn itself out,

Is a risk I dare,

Not take yet.

Do I dare dive,

Headlong into that terrible ocean?

Have I breath enough,

To wrestle the restless leviathan,

That haunts and stalks,

The unseen fathoms?

Even in victory, do I,

Have the reach to surface,

To find the daylight?

And what revenge may,

Other spectres reek if I emerge,

Into the air again?

Neither dare I look,

To unreachable skies to bring,

Relief, since the maternal embrace,

Of the gentle sun has,

Long since set over,

The western horizon,

Never to return untainted,

By cancerous night.

And tomorrow? Oh the great,

Myth of tomorrow.

Tomorrow nothing changes.  Tomorrow,

I will look at faces, say words,

Tomorrow I will still be damned.

I have given up hope,

Of rescue, gone native,

Become the beast,

Which gnaws my brain.

And still,

No redemption comes.

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